| I found myself ambling around Chelsea yesterday, and happened to stumble across one of the roughly seventy-two Starbucks that I frequent habitually. And there it was, still available on a Tuesday afternoon, my favorite newspaper, The New York Observer.
Now, I'll buy any newspaper so pleasingly pink, because that's just about the gayest thing this side of Dean Skelos at a Fire Island tea dance. But what compelled me to fork over the two dollars was the blurb over the masthead: Reid Pillifant on Gillibrand's Annoying Voice.
What the fuck? |
There are several explanations for why Ms. Gillibrand's statewide approval ratings have spent a year mired in the mid-20s, despite her superior title and elevated profile: Her appointment process was publicly bungled; her stance on issues like guns and gay rights evolved in disarmingly short order; and, since she's never had to run a statewide campaign, many voters still don't know who she is, or, for that matter, what she's doing down in Washington.
But the junior senator may also be battling something more fundamental: her voice.
"Kirsten Gillibrand has what I would call a non-regional American young female's accent," wrote Dr. Bert Vaux, a sociolinguistics scholar at the University of Cambridge, who was asked by The Observer to analyze Ms. Gillibrand's public speaking. "Though I lack the phonetic expertise to put my finger on what exactly is involved in this, her voice quality is of the sort that is typically associated with pre-workforce-age white American females. Judging by the case of this woman, this speech pattern has now extended into higher age ranges."
Translation: She sounds more like the cheerleader than the class president.
I repeat: what the fuck? Yes, people vote for or against other people for any number of astonishing reasons - Scott Brown, great hair - but intonation and pitch probably aren't among them. And if they are, Edsel Ford's irritating southern drawl and Tasini's even more irritating nasal twang are deal-breakers. |
